Helloween - "Master of the Rings" (1994)

Wit the dismissal of Kiske and Ingo, Helloween took on vocalist Andi Deris from Pink Cream 69 (who never did make it big). Despite my disappointment at the farewelling of my beloved Kiske, I eagerly anticipated this album, wondering if Deris could possibly measure up.


Here's my 1995 review of this album, as taken from my diary (please note: I was 17 at the time):

"In the beginning, out of nowhere we had a dream, and now it's Helloween".Yes, that's right, Germany's finest melodic speed band are back with another album fill of catchy choruses and melodic rifts. The album opens with, suprisingly, a classical instrumental (appropriately titled "Irritation") and follows it up with some excellant songs.  The subtle humour of Helloween comes across in the ironic lyrics of "Perfect Gentleman" and the most brilliant "Game is on". "Mr Ego (take me down)" the first single from the album is also slightly humourous in the way that it appears to be about their previous vocalist, Michael Kiske (who attempted to take over the band), although nowhere does it actually say so. Apart from the glam orientated "Take Me Home" this album is great and marks a return to Helloween's older musical style, from the "Keeper days. Forget about "Pink Bubbles" and "Chameleous" this is the true Helloween.

Okay, so obviously I liked it! Anyhow, let's ignore the rest of the diary (argh, teenage angst, if I'd known then what I know now... well, I think that speculation is true of all of us) and see if my opinion, like my attitudes to life, have changed over the intervening 19 years.

Gawds, it's been nearly 20 years since this album was released. Crikey.

(Also, for the record, Kiske did not try to "take over the band" he was merely trying to dictate the direction their music should take. He and Weikath did not agree, therefore he left.)

The cover is also clearly a jump back to those golden years of the late 80s, with seven rather yellow rings disappearing off into the greater realms of space, and 8 floating yellow-gold symbols. The title and band name are embossed in silver (shiny!). Inside the booklet is neatly laid out with borders and little cartoon pumpkins illustrasting the lyrics. The band photo under the cd tray is disturbingly distorted.. There's also a little passage in some scrawled font connecting this album to the Keeper albums. The rings are like the antithesis of the keys - representing spirit, truth, destiny, love, creation, fulfillment and sanctuary.

The first track is, indeed, a pleasing little classical number rather innapropriately named "Irritation". It is tinkly and stirring, with some nicely dramatic flourishes and building to an explosive conclusion.

Then we rage into "Sole Survivor" in which we have all the time honoured speed and power of Helloween's Keeper albums, only with a (slightly) modernized feel. The vocals are strong, with a slightly sinister edge. Deris' voice is rawer than Kiske's smooth, golden tones and his slightly aggressive edge actually enhances the song; making him sound determined and triumphant, if somewhat jaded by his experiences.

"Where the Rain Grows" is another enthusiastic, fast paced and fun number. The video is quite odd, but they do rather look like they're having fun (even if Deris' hair is awfully straw-like). It starts with a dramatic drumroll and has a bitchin' bassline. An explosive and dramatic number with good rhythms and strong vocals.

"Why?" is a song with a hint of desparation and a religious flavour. "Why, Lord why?" asks the narrator, a desperate plee to bring change in the world. Solid rhythms, not particularly complex, but Deris' voice gets the angst and pleading across very neatly.

"Mr Ego (take me down)" is "dedicated" to former vocalist, Michael Kiske (so wikipedia says, so it must be true). Interestingly, it's written by Grapow, not Weikath as one might expect. It starts with a dramatic build and then surges into a more progressive sound. Drums are a trebly staccato; vocals rising and falling in swoops for the chorus. It's not a bad song, if a bit bitchy. Best insult:

"And I think you are not funny, your brain is just a bloated dummy!"

The very entertaining "Perfect Gentleman" is matched with an equally amusing video. Apparently Deris's wife is in the video. Speculation is she's the one that slaps him. Also watch for the eye-poke at the end. Deris is a bit of a showman, and seems like a fun fellow. The opening chords are nicely dramatic and instantly recognisable. The structure is quirky, with some charming guitar flurries and an amusing little passage towards the end.

Exploring the dangers of video game addiction "The Game is On" is another fun piece, with a faster, rocking pace and some quirky computer noises. Remember this came out in the mid 90s - when handheld games were the Bomb (and the electronic noises very much reflect the error). Nowadays it would be about smartphone games, probably. It has a great pace, and is a gimmicky and highly entertaining piece.  I can think of a few people I could dedicate this song to.

And now for another song about relationships. "Secret Alibi" is not necessarily a love song and contains some of the strangest sexual innuendo I have ever heard:

"Ding by ding can you dig my dong. It may come short but it might come long..."

Weiki, your lyrics are weird. It's a decent piece, powerful with great choruses and Deris' voice again, does the pleading heart well. His voice is smooth and soaring, the opening nicely epic.

Almost 20 years may have passed, but "Take Me Home" is still my least favorite piece. It has an old-school  hard rock vibe going for it, and a really fast pace. Simple structures, the guitars just seem to be running up and down the scale until they actually go into a bit of a flurry between verses. Drums repetitive. Kind of remains me of a train (and by default, their version of "Locomotion Breath").

Time for a ballad! Acoustic guitar leads us "In the Middle of a Heartbeat". Deris does nicely slowed, somewhat sorrow filled vocals with a hint of longing.

The clockwork is winding down, the music box tinkling, door bell ringing, dog snarling. Lots of drama but "Still We Go". This track starts with the passage I quoted in my 1995 review above, in spooky, eerie vocals. This song is written by Grapow, but it's actually pretty good. Pretty heavy. Determined. Dedicated.

"Now we can see a horizon, we're gonna be here to stay. If you cannot see our sign, you must be blind!"

The album ends, but Helloween continue - and thank goodness for that!

This is actually a splendid album - Helloween are still at their quirky best, showing skill and putting forth an album which contains more enthusiasm and passion than the preceeding two. The songs are varied and entertaining, with a healthy dose of irony and humour. Deris' voice is decent and quite versatile, for all that he does not qualify as "silver tongued". Re-listening to this album has been a glorious trip down memory lane for me, and it seems I still remember the lyrics to most of the songs, even though I haven't actively listened to the album in some years!

Rating = 10/10 (or five pumpkins out of five^^).

Helloween - Chameleon (1993)

Released in 1993, this is generally considered to be the low point in Helloween's career. It envelops a difficult part of their life - burned out after the Noise fiasco, with member cohesion and friendships crumbling, and the loss of Kai Hansen's genius. Like the lizard that gives it its name, it is an eclectic album, experimenting with a range of styles and rhythms. For all that the metal fans dislike it, it did receive rave reviews in NZ mag Rip It Up and it also finds favour with me. My musical tastes are nothing if not a little avant-garde, and my habits are nothing if not contrary. Whilst I would not consider it a necessity in every metal maniacs collection (mainly cos it ain't metal),  it holds a certain nostalgic appeal, combined with a level of insanity and genius. Helloween more recently did something equally experiemental, with the excellent "Unarmed" album, which is probably my top pick of their Deris days. But that is in the future, and this is the present, so let us now begin.

The cover sucks.
It's possibly the Worst Album Cover Ever. It's like they're not even trying. Four stripes - yellow, red, blue and green smeared across an otherwise white page. Pathetic. At least the little pumpkin cartoons that add a whimsical charm are still present, decorating every song. Although I have to confess, they look better in the smaller size of the cassette cover than enlarged for the cd.

At the back it says "Through hard times you find out who your real friends are."
I'm not sure if this is a barbed comment or not, given the turmoil in the band at the time, I'm thinking it may be so.  It was the last album with Kiske and Ingo.

This eclectic masterpiece is in fact the works of three of the band members, each of them creating music and lyrics for the rest to play. This is possibly what gives it its versatile, chameleonic, feel.

For the record:
Michael Weikath wrote: The First Time, Giants, Windmill, Revolution Now
Michael Kiske wrote: When the Sinner, In the Night, I Believe, Longing.
Roland Grapow wrote: I Don't Wanna Cry No More, Crazy Cat, Music, Step Out of Hell.

The album opens with a song about sex. This is "The First Time" that Helloween have a song with sexual connotations and innuendo. It begins with a squeal of feedback before the rock n roll rhythms take over. The chorus is nice and catchy. Drumroll to end it all, complete with distorted guitars and chimpanzees getting lively.

Then we sink into the opening beats of "When the Sinner". No idea how you'd categorise this song. Rock? It has quite dancey beats, kick horns. Kiske's vocals are damned fine, soaring up and down with youthful enthusiasm. The whole song contains the sort of vibrant energy that should have drawn in a wider audience. Jolly good guitar solo and a touch of piano.

Now into a powerful ballad, with enthusiastic acoustic guitar. "I Don't Wanna Cry No More" is Roland's song to his brother Rainer (presumerably deceased). Kiske's voice portrays the emotion well, combined with the light instrumentation. This is a song that is somehow both sad and celebratory at the same time.

And another switch, as we get jazzy with "Crazy Cat". The beginning sounds disturbingly like a dot matrix printer, before the kick horns rip in. The rock n roll rhythms transport you back to another era, maybe there are elements of Elvis here? Kiske is a big fan (but this is Roland's song). Lyrics are quirky and weird:

"Addicted to chicks! He's got a rental tree near the nudist beach, yeah!"

 It's energetic and crazy and probably about Fritz the Cat.

Now, for something a bit more emotional and powerful and downright METAL. "Giants" is possibly the only genuine metal track on this album, and what the others lack in majesty and power, it more than makes up for. From the soaring guitars, and dramatic music build slide guitar and then Kiske's voice, soaring high on currents of emotion and passion. This song is pretty damned epic.

A whistle-bang-whistle-bang follows on as the last chords fade and the "Windmill" begins turning. Piano, tinkling across the keys, Kiske's voice a gentle sussuration. Folk ballad? Vocals with acoustic guitar, a song that evokes memories, nostalgia, a feeling of peace and serenity.

"Don't feel alone and depressed, someone willl come at last. To soothe your stumbling mind to keep it away from the evil storm."

I always loved the lyrics of this song. I was 15 when it was released, and it gave me hope for my future. There's some pretty instense acoustic guitar strumming too. It's a very nostalgic and moving piece for me. Making me think of golden fields, and blue skies.

Now it's time to step back to the 70s, and time to put some flowers in your hair - because it's time for a "Revolution Now". The last of Weikath's contributions and with aspects of Sabbath and Trouble - that somewhat slow, slightly trippy, somewhat sludgy, psychadelic-doom sound (stoner metal?). The chorus is epic. The guitar solos are jolly fine. Fade out includes record scratching noises and grunting pigs. I am not sure why.

The acoustic-but-energetic "In the Night" really does do justice to Kiske's vocals and contains some very nice lyrics:

"When I wake up early in the morning, I catch a book and jump inside...."

And Kiske does his "Elvis voice". I love it when his vocals drop down an octave. Gives me shivers. The guitars are animated and filled with a playful joy.

Now, time for some "Music". Well, more music. This is a very powerful piece, building from a soft, almost haunting vocal line and with elements of classic rock. The stirring nature of the music and the power of the vocals, as they rise, soar, in celebratory harmony. It's slow and dramatic. The additon of the orchestra really helps improve the power.

"Step Out of Hell" is a song about drugs to what would be best described as dance-rock. Some reviews speculate that it's about Ingo and the lyrics centre on trying to help someone with a drug problem. The guitars are a little more energetic on this one, and Kiske's voice is as powerful as ever, but the cheesy keyboards feel awkward and a bit out of place. It is probably my least favourite song on the album.
Sadly, it's also prophetical:

"... go on like this you're gonna be dead..."

RIP Ingo.

Following on is the epic and beautiful "I Believe". Written by Kiske, this is him coming out of the Christianity closet in glory and triumph. It is a powerful and stirring song, even for a non-believer like myself. The rising melodies, the share jubilation and celebration in his voice and the full-on orcheastrations make me wish Kiske could perform with an orchestra all the time. And then he does his low-sexy-voice, except faster, and somewhat sinister. This is almost a song to inspire me to believe. But it's not preachy. Not really. Sure, he's singing about how important God is, but it's about his personal choice - not trying to inflict it upon the listener. Pure epic majesty.

Gentle strumming, provides acoustic support to Kiske's "Longing", it starts slow, but then the strings come in and then it becomes a thing of beauty. A song of loss, of love. Of longing. That final triumphant, symphonic blast...

"Here is love and there is pain; it's all around it's all the same".

You know what? This is a damned fine album! In fact, it's probably the most accessible Helloween album to the not-metal-fans and the structures and blend is an eclectic masterpiece. If I ignore the terrible cover and the internal band dramas and just concentrate instead on the extremely polished and brilliantly eclectic blend of music, that really deserves better recognition*.

I'd have to give this album 9.5/10.
Do you know what I want to see? Michael Kiske performing with an orchaestra. That would be amazingly awesome.

* Even the band pretend it does not exist - to the best of my knowledge, they no longer play ANY of these songs in any of their sets.

Helloween - Keeper of the Seven Keys Part II (1988)

As promised, now it is time for the glory that is Keeper of the Seven Keys, part two, the follow up to tbe wonderful Keeper of the Seven Keys, part one and one of the definitive metal albums of all time. Here is where Power Metal began. That's not to say that Helloween are technically Power Metal, nor that they are the only band that can claim the honour of being the root of all that is awesome, but merely that this is one of the major contributing albums to the slightly pompous, extravagant genre of Power Metal. Helloween are more straightforward, but no less epic and this album is AMAZING.

When I was younger, relying on a fairly small allowance to afford the extravagances of cassettes, my brother and I bought a fair amount of music. I bought part one, he bought part two. This was a pity, because it meant that I could not really listen to this album. Since he preferred to sit in his room, door closed, music loud, burying himself within the immensity and engulfing himself fully in its richness, I could not easily join him. It is actually rather an awkward feeling sitting in your siblings's room, trying to sink into a sort of meditative, music induced state. Thus, I didn't really get to hear this album as much as I would have liked. I distinctly recall sitting outside his bedroom window one evening, whilst the power of the music poured through the window, listening. At this time, I also had a number of penpals and we exchanged cassette recordings around the world, sharing each others mix tapes. This, my friend, was how you learned about new bands before the interweb - before you could touch a button and hear samples from every single cd you can think of. Via snail mail... and mix tapes.... anyhow, I had a lovely penfriend in Sweden and he recorded this album for me so that I could listen to it too.

Of course, eventually, I purchased the CD. Along with Helloween's entire backlist, half of which I have on cassette tape as well as CD. Hey, you cannot have too much of a good thing - and at least I can listen to them in my car!

The cover is beautiful, moody and somewhat fantasy-esque. In the foreground, a hand inserts a key into a lake (from which faces stare out), whilst gnarled green hands grasp at it. The robes indicate that this may be the seer of visions - the cloaked figured from part one. The background is split in two by dark and brooding clouds - on one side, a monolithic rock formation glows in the mid day sun, in the other fires burn over a desolate and forboding, spiky black landscape. The cover is bordered in a chain of autumnal leaves. Inside it is all plain black text on white paper - very straightforward and simplistic, but pratical and easy to read.

This was Helloween's last album with Noise - a company that basically screwed them over. This cd went Gold in Germany, made it to #108 on the USA charts but despite being a highly successful album, they did not see much in the way of profits from it. Shortly after this they broke their contract, got into terrible legal battles (with Noise), weren't able to tour or release in the States for some years and not only that, but Kai Hansen left, not wishing to deal with the pressures of being in such a big band. Funnily enough, his band, Gamma Ray sort of took over the power and glory of this album with their "Land of the Free" release in 1995.

An eagle soars over forlorn, windswept cliffs in "Invitation" as the instruments rise in power and might, beckoning us onwards.

It swoops and strikes, charging in to the speed metal anthem of "Eagle Fly Free". The guitars are a wild and reckless beast, the vocals untamed and melodious. The drums... well the drums are slamming, beating a rapid and, at times, slightly monotonous, slightly tinny beat. Kiske displays his immensely powerful vocal talents, holding the note, unwavering for a good 15 seconds.

Then it is in to "You Always Walk Alone". I love the rhythms and structure of this song, it's so lively and inspirational, it fills my heart and soul with such empowerment.

"... the strength we have inside yourself is so more than you will know."

The highly entertaining "Rise and Fall" follows it up. It starts with rockin' beats and wooden laughter. You also get to hear Kiske say "bullshit" which is worth it in itself. The shifting rhythms and quirks of the backing music add to the somewhat comedic, fairy tale feel - as do the lyrics:

"A little dragon could spit fire, but never sought for something bad. He didn't know the knight's desire to throw a lance into his head."

It does make you ask two questions, however: How is luck like a ball? And what exactly did the queen of Los Angeles do with a chair? Sometimes I wonder if Weikath is on something when he writes his quirkier tracks. I mean, sheep?

Another quirky number is "Dr Stein" - a song about Frankenstein. For anyone who has heard Helloween as much as I, the opening chords are unmistakeable. This is probably one of their most famous songs - but there was no video made until it was re-released as part of the "Unarmed" album. Also written by Weikath, the lyrics are somewhat silly and rather fun. The guitars rise and fall in a complicated duet, with the keyboards arcing around them.

The anthemic "We Got the Right" follows. Kiske's voice is in fine form, a powerful tool with less support from the instruments in this piece.

Then it is time to get back into the speed metal with the raging "Save Us".  It is followed up by the equally powerful "March of Time". Two very fine examples of the speed metal genre, back to back. The racing guitars, the clanging drums, and above all, Kiske's voice soaring like the voice of a god, filled with power and glory. I have heard the chords and the rhythms of Helloween's music described as "happy sounding" and it is. I'm not knowledgeable enough about the technical terms to be able to tell you WHY their melodies sound positive whereas others do not, but the lyrics certainly help:

"Life's too short to cry, long enough to try..."

The final normal-length track is "I Want Out" which has an entertaining video. With its enthusiastic rhythms, catchy choruses and charismatic frontman, this track became a hit. Once again, the drums seem a little too high pitched on this piece, not sure if that is intentional or a result of not such great production. Once you start noticing it, however, it becomes a little annoying - and I don't want to be annoyed by this album. It's Helloween - it should be awesome! Everything should be absolutely perfect.

The final track is the epic "Keeper of the Seven Keys" and is a piece so majestic that it inspired me, in my teenage years, to write a highly derivative and pretty cliched fantasy novel. But not one that will ever see the light of day, I promise*.
And just to prove that nothing is ever original and that Helloween inspired other people to do the same thing - here's a D&D comic inspired by the same thing. Seriously, my characters even had similar names!
Anyhow, clocking in at over thirteen minutes long, it almost deserves an entire blog post of its own - but "The Seven Angels" didn't get one, so it isn't going to either.

It starts with light guitar, and Kiske's beautiful low vocals, soaring behind it are classical instruments, rising with power and might. This might be where the roots of Symphonic Metal began.
Our hero ("you") prepares for his coming Quest.
And off he sets, with the drums and guitars keeping pace.
The chorus rises, filled with power and ambition.

 "You're the keeper of the seven keys, to lock up the seven seas. And the seer of visions said before he went blind 'hide them from demons and rescue mankind'."

The first key belongs in the sea of hate, the second the sea of fear.

"Throw the third key into the sea of senselessness and make the people hold each other's hands..."

Fourth goes into the sea of greed.
The fifth into the sea of anger.

Meanwhile, something wicked is stirring, the guitars thrash and race and below it you can hear something growling.

Kiske becomes more urgent and insistent - urging you to "throw the key or you may die...". After the frenzy, the music dies down, mellowing into a haunting echo. Has the key been thrown? Is this the calm before the storm?

And where do the sixth and seventh keys belong? Who knows, it's never defined.

The devil is waiting on the shores of the last lake.
It might have been better to have Kai sing the voice of the devil - Kiske has the voice of an angel.
(Then again, Kai's a dwarf, right).

The guitar heralds the throwing of the key and the ensuring battle between the devil and the hero.
Don't worry, the hero wins and an earthquake swallows the devil down again.
Now it is time to celebrate.

I have noticed that there is a rough edge to this album - it has a slightly raw, untamed feel to it - not the overly polished and produced feel of later albums - such as "Pink Bubbles". I think that is part of the appeal, as it makes you feel closer to the band, making them seem more visceral. Although the higher pitch to the drums gets a little irritating. Also, the quality is not great - I have it at full volume to listen to it and when I put in my new Unisonic CD instead, it almost blew my speakers - it was that much louder. I guess that shows what effect 20+ years has had on sound quality.

Overall, however, this is an awesome album and should be in the collection of anybody who considers themselves a true metal fan.

I'm going to give it a 9.5/10 thanks to those drums.
I'm sorry Ingo...

If anyone does want to buy these two albums - they are now available as a set. Which includes some bonus tracks. These tracks I shall be reviewing in a later post.

* Michael Weikath would totally sue my tail. And as much as I'd like to meet him, in a courtroom over copyright violation is not the time and place for that!

Helloween - Keeper of the Seven Keys (part one) (1987)

Helloween are my favourite band. And this is one of their best albums.

Of course, to my one loyal reader, you already know of my love for this German band - or at least the way they were back in the late 80s, when they were at their finest. So, you don't really need me to tell you this twice. But it's worth repeating anyway.

It is not, alas, a long album - having only six entire songs and a couple of short bits. But do not let that deter you - for one of the songs IS 13 minutes long. The cover speaks volumes - it shows a hooded, faceless figure, levitating a ball of glowing keys (seven of course) whilst behind him - through an open window, you can see a serene lake, surrounded by mountains. Evocative - it makes you wonder - who is he? What do the keys open? Unforunately, for the answers about the keys, you have to wait for the next album.

This is the first album with the adorable Michael Kiske on vocals, and with Kai Hansen taking most of the guitaring roles, as Michael Weikath had injured his wrist and was unable to perform.

It is a simple single-fold sleeve, but does manage to fit all the lyrics in - although the font is rather small.

Let us begin with our "Initiation" into the glory that is Helloween. Tolling bells; triumphant, swelling guitars. Ahhh, it makes your heart soar to listen to it.

"I'm Alive" is a joyous celebration of being, well, ALIVE! The lyrics are not earth shattering, but the energy, the sheer intoxication of this song cannot help but fill your soul with hope and joy.

This feeling continues into "A Little Time", although it has its gloomier moments. So much metal is so angry and aggressive - Helloween chose instead to play the sort of music that thrills and excites you, making your spirit soar. Clever interplay, quirky little guitar gimmicks and the playfulness of the vocals and music add to this impression.

The energy and pace of "Twilight of the Gods" makes it a masterpiece. No need for fancy synthesizers or orchaestras (although those would be wicked) - Helloween achieve a climax of sound with just guitars, drums, vocals and choirs. Masterful, beautiful. It brings a tear to my eye and I've pretty much cranked my speaker volume up as high as it can feasibly go.

Hell, my neighbours deserve to learn the power of Helloween. They play their music all the time, anyhow (at least they have reasonable taste and it's rock, not rap or dubstep).

A softer, heart-breaking number - "A Tale that Wasn't Right" allows Kiske to truly shine, the emotion and power in his young voice - he's only 18/19 here. Wow. Damn, those tears are back...

When I was a teenager, most of my peers had crushes on movie stars or boy bands (yup, we had them in my day too) - but me, I was "in love" with Michael Kiske. I'd still love to meet him (although I no longer fantasize about marrying him).

And now "Future World" - the first Helloween song I ever heard. It was on the "Thrash the Wall" compilation cassette*. From its celebratory opening chords, to its highly sing-a-long-able chorus, to its positive, positive message

"... cos we all live in future world, a world that's full of love..."

 Even the band admit that the lyrics are fluffy and over-idealistic (I believe Weikath dissed them in an interview I once read - I read a lot of Helloween interviews - claiming they'd never write that sorta nonsense again) but to a teenage girl, facing (albeit pretty mild) bullying, peer pressure, teen angst and a lack of friends - it is a message that sticks - and it was right - my "future life would be glorious" - or at least pretty damned good.**

The jarring beginning and crashing beats of "Halloween" are powerfully evocative. Like being steamrolled with music. The vocals are magnificant, the music stupendous, little quirks like the tinkling of magic in the air, the whispering voices... all combines to create a wonderful, dramatic, evocative, melodramatic and overall wonderful aural experience. Masterfully clever, and even at 13 minutes long (the video is much abridged), it changes pace and style enough to keep you entertained.  Oooh, that sounded like a flurry of bats!
 (Btw, if you watch the video, make sure you check out Kiske's expresion when the demonic voice tries to corrupt him. It's priceless. If he didn't decide to follow the path of using his glorious voice, he would have made a decent actor, I reckon - he's definitely charismatic and expressive enough.)

The haunting little instrumental, with whispering voice, bids us to "Follow the Sign" and probably subtly encourages us to buy the next album. Which, if you've heard this one (and if your music mood sensors are wired like mine) - you will anyway, since one is NOT enough.

 THIS is the essential album for every speed metal, power metal fan's collection. If you like this genre of music and you do not have this album - BUY IT NOW. And, while you're at it, you might as well get the second one too, because together they are EPIC.

I'm sure you don't need me to tell you my rating - but I will anyway - a triumphant 10/10.

 * Oddly enough, I don't think I liked it that much on the first listening (my brother can probably recall my comments). I believe at that point I was in my "Sepultura phase" which lasted about one week and then I turned up the volume on "Future World" and it hit the pleasure synapses in my brain and I fell instantly, irrevocably, in love. Back in those days (remember, I was around 13), I used to watch RTR countdown, which was the NZ music chart show, counting down the top selling cassingles for that week (nowadays, that would be itunes downloads, for all you modern-day teens) - and every week I would make my own list. This song stayed at #1 for an awfully long time, until finally getting shunted off by the Escape Club's haunting "I'll Be There".

** Although I am sure my 13-year old self would have considered it more glorious had Michael Kiske come and whisked her away!

Helloween - Pink Bubbles Go Ape (1991)

This may seem like a strange Helloween CD to begin my Musical Appreciation Blog with - I DO have almost all their albums, and this is generally rated amongst their worst.. However, this was the very first Helloween album I ever acquired. On cassette tape, no less.

Firstly, time for a brief history of my Musical Life. Back in my pre-teen years, I never much listened to music and when asked in school what music I liked, I replied "classical" because it was what my parents played. Along with Dire Straits and some other rockier numbers, and probably also Cat Stevens. However, as I grew into my teenage years, I began to crave friends, and the "cool" girls were listening to music, so like the sheep that I was, I followed them. Thus my first favourite bands were the boy band of the time - New Kids on the Block, and the abyssmal Vanilla Ice. Somehow, I ended up being lured into Poison (which the rebellious kids were listening to) and from there I took the rather sizeable leap into Heavy Metal. One of the first albums I ever bought was one of the "Speed Kills" series. Probably 5 or 6, IIRC. Then I acquired a collection entitled "Thrash the Wall". Released in 1990, it was an eclectic Roadrunner compilation, introducing me to the majesty of power metal in the form of Helloween's "Future World", Running Wild's "Raging Fire" and Rage's epic "Invisible Horizons". Also some pretty awesome tracks by Rochus, Paradox and King Diamond.

I was smitten. Something about the powerful chords spurred something in me, an energy that inspired me and well, it made me feel good. Like a drug, I suppose.

Anyhow, shortly afterwards I stumbled upon this cassette in a Nelson music store. Probably Everymans, although it may have been another one. The cover was weird - a woman dangling a fish over her open mouth and that may have drawn me in, along with the obscure title. I listened to it. Well, when I say "I listened to it", that was in fact a lie. I *thought* I was listening to it, but all I actually heard was REM who for some reason were being siphoned over the headphones, drowning out the very strange little opening ditty "Pink Bubbles Go Ape."

I bought it, popped it into my walkman, actually *heard* that strange little opening ditty and thought "what the heck have I just bought?" then "Kids of the Century" began and I was instantly hooked. It was like a drug, a drug that fed me happy emotions and made me feel glad to be alive.

So, that is why I have chosen to start my Hs with one of Helloween's least popular albums.
Because it may not be popular, but it's AWESOME, and it helped make me into the person I am today. Well, that might be stretching it a bit, I probably would have ended up okay either way, but I do think music helped shaped me, and by breaking out of the sheeplike following of pop music, I started to develop faith in myself as an individual.

This was Helloween's first album signed to a major, mainstream corporation - EMI (having broken their contract with Noise - and the repucussions of that - then they were were later dumped by EMI due to poor sales), it also lacked the guitar mastery of Kai Hansen, having instead the skillful fingerings of Roland Grapow. More commerically aimed, it lacks the intense vibes of the "Keeper" albums, but it is still a damned good album*.


Also, I had a major crush on Michael Kiske, the vocalist. He's going on mid-40s now, and not nearly as sweet-faced and innocent (looking), but ever since I've had a thing for cleft chins. Heh.

I also purchased the CD version - which, sadly, does not include the lyrics. Of course, I know this album very well indeed, but it would still be nice to have them clarified for me.

"Pink Bubbles Go Ape" is a weird little acoustic ditty, replacing the "traditional" one (or so) minute rousing intro track common in power metal albums. It's funny, and a little nonsensical - is he singing about champagne? But quickly merges in to the rather more rousing and powerful opening chords of "Kids of the Century". The video for this is worth watching, as it makes no sense, it's so delightfully random - forks? Flamingos? Fried eggs? Also, Kiske is quirky and cute and the guitarists are pretty funny too. The song itself is rockin' with quite depressing and almost sarcastic lyrics. Of course, they're the kids of the last century.

"Back on the Streets" is also pretty jolly heavy, with Kiske's golden voice ringing out loud and clear like a proud, operatic bell. I have never found a vocalist that can quite compare and I'm not sure if that's because he's just really good or due to the influence Helloween had on my formative years.

We then take a bit of a rest with the inspirational "Number One", the opening chords of which still cause my heart to soar and me to crank up the volume. Even my mother liked this song (she also liked "Mama I'm Coming Home by Ozzy Osbourne, so she has reasonable taste, but only for ballads). The motto is a good one, if a little in your face:

"Now it's time for happiness, stay hard and trust your fate. Don't forget you're something else, you'll never be too late."

A good positive impression to make on the negatively-inclined, hopeless teenager that I once was.

"Heavy Metal Hamsters" is just plain silly. I find it highly amusing, but I'm not sure all of the band agree. It was written by Weikath, and is related to their dealings with Noise records, intended as a B side and not supposed to make the final cut on this CD. Oops. I kinda like it, but some of the fans treated it with outrage, as it was a little too quirky and fluffy (literally, I mean rodents?) for the hard-arsed metal fan.

As you will have realised by now, I am not a hard-arsed metal fan, and like a little quirk in my music.

"Goin' Home" is a good solid song, with roaring guitars, strong riffs and golden vocals. It's about being on the road, touring (with the band), and finally being able to go home. I suspect a lot of people consider the rock n' roll lifestyle to be amazing, but from all reports that I gather, it's damned hard work. It's a business, and it's exhausting, and you've got to keep those vocal chords polished, and your guitar fingers flexed and then, finally, you might get to go home.

"Someone's Crying" is another heavier number, getting off to a rather loud start with pounding drums and racing guitars.

I love "Mankind" with its bold beginning. Helloween have always been fond of epic songs, and this would be this albums equivalent, unlike earlier (and later) albums however, this one is a more real-world lyrically than the fantastical bombastic-ness of the majestic "Keeper of the Seven Keys" - which is one of my all time favourite Helloween songs. The chorus is symphonic and glorious.

"I'm Doin' Fine, Crazy Man," with its random, nonsensical lyrics is fun to sing along with, but not a great song by Helloween standards. It makes no real sense and seems to lack something.

The following song, "The Chance", despite being the only song on this album that the band actually  seems to likes and still performs, is pretty standard fare. The chorus is catchy enough, the guitars energetic, but it doesn't seem to quite inspire much in me.

I much prefer the much loathed ballad "Your Turn", in which Kiske's voice totally dominates with its energy and vibrancy, with a hint of longing. Sure, he makes mention of Mickey Mouse. Sure, that's not very metal. Who f**king cares? It's a beautiful song and it deserves better credit.

I think this is where I differ from the majority of Helloween's rabid fans - the let's-pretend-it-doesn't-exist follow-up CD to this one, "Chameleon" is one of my favourites. And the only one of their most recent (as in, this century) albums I actually like is the rather criticised "Unarmed" which in my opinion was pure GENIUS.

People say this album is not that great, that the creative genius left with Kai Hansen, but having listened to this album and Gamma Ray's first back-to-back, I would have to say - this one strikes me as being the closer to speed metal. Not that I really consider Helloween even marginly close to the raucous controlled chaos of speed metal. Also, they don't sound very power metal anymore - not when you consider now the multi-layered orchaestras and symphonies that make up modern day power metal. The evolution of metal makes for an interesting study indeed.

I would say that the only flaw with this album - aside from its quirkiness that turns the true-blue metallers away, is that it lacks the vibrancy and energy of the "Keeper" albums. It feels more polished, and possibly a wee bit sterile. It just lacks the dynamite - and I think that is partly because it came in after some massive upheaval amongst the band - the Noise legal issues, the inability to release a CD in the USA for two years, personality clashes between Kiske and Weiki (the follow-up "Chameleon" very much feels like a Kiske drive album) and essentially they've switched the innocent playfulness of the "Keeper" days for a more mature, more commercial endeavour. An endeavour, which possibly for the best, failed to make them big in the mainstream. So saying, it's still HEAVY and catchy and, well, I love it and I'm going to give it a jolly solid 9/10.


* Better than the bollocks they've come up with recently, in absence of both Kiske and Hansen.