Acid Drinkers - Strip Tease (1992)

Keeping with the Polish bands, we now have Acid Drinkers. AD are the only band with a similar sound to Wolfspider - they even share a lead guitarist - Popcorn (Dariusz Popowicz?). They are like the mischevious younger brother, full of untamed energy and rebellion, and with  a somewhat crude sense of humour.

The cover is... well I can imagine Americans might find it rather offensive. You see, it depicts the statue of liberty, with helicopters lifting the skirt to reveal rather muscular legs and rather detailed stone phallus. There's a dented coke can in the foreground and three balls in the lamp. 

"Strip Tease" is crazy, chaotic and frantic with the guitarists charging together for the finish line, occasionalyl jumping over one another in their quest for audio dominance. The lyrics are equally frenzied, it's a wonder vocalist Titus doesn't trip over his tongue. You can't understand what he's saying -  the "delightful"* broken English is only apparent when you read the lyric sheet, ie:

"Dear blockhead, dear lovely muthaf**ker, I present you a panorama of my crotch.Are you indignant?"

And I've discovered a new word too - psychical! It means: Of, relating to, affecting, or influenced by the human mind or psyche; mental.

And here I thought they were making it up.

Laughing rhythms and a cough herald "King King Bless You!" Vocals are slower, funkier, and have a kind of cartoon feel. Admittedly that cartoon would have to be South Park. Actually, this really does sound like South Park. If South Park performed Thrash Metal. Titus even sounds a little like Cartman, with the squawk to his voice.

Surprisingly good guitars, and what is this? A Metallic cover! An ACOUSTIC Metallica cover by one of the craziest thrash metal bands ever to come out of Eastern Europe. It's "Seek and Destroy" and has an almost eastern vibe going for it. It's actually really very good. I believe there's a guest vocalist on here, adding a shrill, thin, feminine voice to the chorus. This is the kind of cover song I like - sounding little like the original.

I'm not sure how to describe the intro to "Rock N Roll Beast". It sounds a little like a grown-up pretending to be a toddler that's possessed by a demon. The music is chaotic and frantic, the rhythms a swift and tangled complication. The chorus is fast and funky.

"Rats/Feeling Nasty" has Titus switching from his squawk and into a lower register (at least at first). The guitarist/s seem to be sliding up their guitar. Then it switches to classical, and falls into something akin to funk metal. It's all over the place, but crazy fun.

However, "Poplin Twist" is surprisingly sophisticated. It's slower, with steadier rhythms, some very trebbly percussion lines and vocals of a lower and less cartoon-chicken-like. Some nice harmonising on the choruses. Lyrics are rather nonsensical, but oddly amusing:

"I leave the shadow of my shapely ass for those sick prophets, leave them alone."

 "Masterhoods of Hearts Devouring" starts with a roaring, raucous, rampage; before suddenly switching to piano and melodious guitar rhythms. Just ever so slightly off key, and with the drummer being slightly off time. Then BAM the vocals storm the song, so fast and reckless that it's completely indecipherable.

"You Are Lost My Dear" has stronger metal and funk fusion rhythms.

Back into something weird, "Menel Song" is acoustic and mostly vocal, with only light drums and guitar for accompaniment, along with weird blasting noises. Titus still sounds like a dangerous cartoon bird. Combined, interwoven with the verses is a chorus of  "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life".Which says a lot about where their humour is coming from.

Some rather technical structures, guitars that sound faintly sci-fi, and chug-chug-chug rhythms display that fact that these are competent musicians (despite some evidence to the contrary). "Blood is Boiling" feels more like a traditional thrash song.

"My Caddish Promise" starts with slamming, thrashing instruments and zappy laser noises. Most bands do love songs, AD do a hate song. With really weird lyrics.

"I require it, my sweet sexual straggeler cremate yourself for me."

It's hard to describe the vocals, some words seem to have bits clipped off them, adding an odd accentuation to the lyrics. I think there are two vocalists doing this track, because Titus's squawk is also in there.

"I will hate you tomorrow, just like I hate you today. It is my caddish promise."

Another competent and technical opening to "Mentally Deficient". Vocals hurried and raucous. Slowing, speeding. Twangy guitar rhythms. Slamming drums. Guitar races.


"Hell it is a Place on Earth" is another fast, thrashy, number with an element of melody buried somewhere in there.

Creeping, creeping, we have "Ronnie and the Brother Spider". Seems to be about how Ronnie has died, at the edge of town. Vocals are somewhat funky. Full of explectives.

"I'm a Rocker" is another chaotic and crazy piece, with little to recommend it.


Acid Drinkers are crazy. Quirky. Fun. Titus's voice gets on your nerve after a while: he sounds a little like a caricature. The rhythms are all over the place, racing each other, slowing, jerking back and forth and sometimes out of time (but it seems to be on purpose). The humour is somewhat offensive, and the entire album is peppered with swear words, but it has a playful appeal - for those who like that sort of thing. For those that don't, this album would suck. It's very trebly, with some complex musical arrangements and the guitarists show technical prowess, even if they're indecisive about where to go. They're either insane or geniuses, but they're definitely different.

Rating = 6.5/10

* Where's your punctuation for sarcasm when you need it?

Wolfspider - Kingdom of Paranoia (1990)

My first introduction to Wolfspider, and Polish metal in general, was the Speed Kills 5 album which contained no less than four Polish bands: Turbo, Dragon, Acid Drinkers and Wolfspider. Oddly enough, in the wikipedia page both Dragon and Wolfspider appear to have been forgotten about. Admittedly, Dragon are more death metal (and thus might not appear on a thrash band lsit), but Wolfspider are definitely thrash. Anyhow, I heard the song "Black n Whites", really liked it, found this on cassette tape and bought it. Found another copy or two a while later in the bargain bins for $2, so I bought them too as ways of introducing my overseas friends to them. Then I finally acquired it on cd when it was re-issued and - after years of trying - also managed to get their follow up album "Drifting on a Sullen Sea". So yeh, I like Wolfspider and Acid Drinkers are quite amusing, but the rest of the Polish Thrash scene I can take or leave* - and would prefer to leave, dziękuję.

The cover is moody and strange. The ocean, reflecting the full moon above as a quater moon. A man in (ugly checkered) suit and tie atop a throne from which unrolls a crimson carpet, towards a cage in which three soldiers protest their capture. Between them, a dog with the head of a man grovels at the suited man's feet, his head turned to glare at the soldiers. One cannot help but feel there is some sort of political message here and the lyrics also reflect similar themes of social issuses and political complications, all written in halting broken English. Inside the band all look so young and curly haired.

The album opens with the classically inspired intro to "Manifestants" which is rich and evocative, gutiars interweaving into a fine tapestry that then blasts into rapid drumming and stampeding guitars. Vocalist Jacky shouts for the most part, but he has a silvery iron edge to his voice and falls into erratic, almost funk, rhythms for some of the verses. It's erratic, jerky and surprisingly effective. This is a song of revolution:

"Revolution - we want freedom, we want rights
Revolution - no one will rule us again
People want to rule."

Time for a brief history lesson - Poland were shaking the shackles of Communism 1989-1991 - when this album was written and made.

My favourite Wolfspider song "Pain" is a broken and grieving song, still containing the raw and brutal energy of thrash but containing a deeply emotional, raw side. It is a song of death and loss - a drunk driver steals the life of child and wife, and the husband mourns his loss whilst also raging his anger.  The tempo switches from anger to grief within a few erratic bars making it jarring and real and very affective.

The thrashing "Black n Whites" was the first ever Wolfspider song I ever heard.The vocals are a high and semi-tortured whine. There seems to be a bit of a religious feel to the lyrics, which for the most part do not make a lot of sense:

"Father from the stars, your servants serve you so poor
there are many traitors greedy for dough
father from stars, they don't treat you with respect
it isn't good to follow your footsteps anymore."

The last is sun in an almost melodious manner. His accent shines through in everything he says, and pronounces some words almost phoentically.

"Foxes" is a song about deception. It starts fast and jerky, before smoothing up for a few bars then going chaotic again. Another jerky, erratically tempoed piece.

"Waiting For Sense" has a slight funk rhythm to the vocals, although the instruments are still fast and hard and all over the place. Chorus is, again, surprisingly melodic, as is the rather more traditionally paced guitar solo. At least for the first few bars.

It's time to get funky as we enter the "Desert". The rhythms are mainstreamed now into more traditional funk metal, with the guitars zig-zagging across them and then the drums going wild.

"Sickened Nation" is a crazy and restless song. Jerky, erratic, and with surprisingly polished guitar solo.

The opening guitar chords of "Nasty-ment" are very technical and soon fall into a race with the drums. This is an instrumental, and it is a frantic flurry of instrumentation.

The pace drops back into steadier rhythms for "Survive". Vocals are the high, slightly off-tune whine. The chorus has appeal:

"Look! A bird's flying in the sky so free and so proud
try to bear it like it does, to pass over that."

 Final track, "Weakness" is a bonus not included on my cassette versions. It was a bit of a surprise when I finally heard it (the lyrics were printed on the cassette sleeve, even though the song wasn't on it, so I knew it existed) because it's completely different in tempo and melody, being more reminscient of an old love song, maybe from back in the 60s or something. The lyrics are rather amusing, and seem to be about how girls are his weakness (either that or alcohol). After the opening verse it rapidly declines into the rather frantic, chaotic rhythms we've grown used to, but it slows down for the vocals. It's crazy, fun and quirky. Complete with drunken singing. Just ignore the sexploitative nature to the lyrics.

In small doses, Wolfspider are very cool: with their erratic, jerky rhythms; melodic almost metallic** vocals; crazy lyrics and competent instrumentation. Too much of them, and it starts to wear on you, making you feel sort of edgy and restless. It is hard to relax or concentrate on anything else. Probably due to the pace and chaoticness of the rhythms.

Rating = 6.5/10

* For fun here's some more Polish metal (and it's all pretty thrash and aggressive and not aurally pleasant to me):
Dragon "I Spit in Your Face"
Turbo "Barbaric Justice"

And here's Vader "Never Say My Name" (this is the first time I have heard them)

** I can't think of a better way to describe it - it's a sharp knife-like whine with a softer edge.

Heavy Metal Genres (in brief)

I thought I would take this opportunity to actually offer some "education" in the various genres of Heavy Metal. You see, when I inform people that I listen to Heavy Metal, they immediately develop some rather biast pre-conceptions - that metal is not music, that the singers can't sing and that it is really just a whole lot of noise and no rhythm.

They are, of course, naive and ignorant of the great scale of the metal genre.

Heavy Metal is, as a genre, as encomposing as "Rock Music" or "Classical". And indeed probably has more sub-genres than both combined. Now, I am sure there are many hidden nuances and subgenres to Rap and House music as well, but as they have never proven to be of any interest to me whatsoever, I think it is in my best interests to just ignore them and leave them to their experts.

Not that I'm a metal expert, but I have had over 20 years auditory experience.

And my mother said it was "just a phase".

Firstly, when I say I listen to Heavy Metal - I do not mean all the subgenres. I do not like hardcore, or grindcore or anything that is too aggressive or sounds like the vocalist is trying to cough up their oesphagus or that the guitarists each have six arms and cannot hear what each other is playing. Despite the fact that their vocalist is a bird (literally, he's a parrot - and no, they don't perform live, he's recorded separately and then added into the music) I do not like Hatebeak. I do not like death metal either. Black metal amuses me in small doses and if it is not too serious (Cradle of Filth and Ancient are acceptable, and I rather like Sadness, for example).

But:

My interest mainly lies in the other half of the spectrum. The melodic stuff.

Now, there is quite a wide diversity amongst the melodic stuff too. Let me discuss the various SubGenres that you are likely to see referenced in my labels:

Note: These are my own interpretations, and may not quite be the same as those found on, say, wikipedia. This is because the metal genre is entirely too complicated and confusing and you need a degree in Heavy Metalogy to understand it properly. So consider this a summary.

Power Metal - This is the real creme de croppe - sophisticated guitars, occasional inclusion of classical instruments, usually the vocals have a slightly operatic edge. Themes are generally fantasy or historical or occasionally pseudo-religious. Bridges and choruses, often quite catchy, clever melodies. Generally feeling rather intense, powerful, almost like being caught in the middle of an epic scale D&D campaign battle. The sort of music that makes your heart swell fit to bursting and inspires you to run around your room, waving a ruler like it's a sword and putting the light fixtures at risk*.

Bands of that ilk:
Helloween (esp the "Keeper" years), Stratovarius, Edguy, Blind Guardian, Dragonforce, PowerQuest, Gamma Ray, Avantasia, a large proportion of my collection.

~ * ~ 

Progressive Metal - Similar to Power Metal, but with more synthesizers, a generally more "modern" vibe and lyrics about more mature themes such as politics or love.

Bands of that ilk:
Dream Theater, Queensryche, Angra, Rush.

~ * ~

Folk Metal - The addition of folk instruments such as fiddles, bagpipes, and things that I don't even know the names of. Songs that make you want to jump around and engage in various forms of, well, folk dance. Usually have fast, repetitive rhythms; catchy, repetitive lyrics and are overall pretty damned awesome. Topics generally about maidens of various humanesque species, rogues and vagabonds - or in Skyclad's case, serious political issues and far too many puns.

Bands of that ilk:
Skyclad, Elvenking, Phoenyx, Subway to Sally, Amorphis (some albums)

~ * ~ 

Doom Metal - Slow, heavy, ponderous - as though every beat is an effort. Vocals can be low and growling (doom-death) or almost operatci (awesome). Lyrics generally about death and dying - sometimes depressing, sometimes not as bad as you would expect. Sometimes violins and other maudlin classical instruments are incoporated to add to the general feelings of desolation.

Have the roots in early Black Sabbath.

Bands of that ilk:

Candlemass, Solitude Aeturnus, Confessor, Anathema, My Dying Bride.

~ * ~

Symphonic Metal - Really complex structures, soaring instruments, intense emotions - basically, symphonic metal makes use of the many various "voices" of classical music to create not only a song, but a whole atmosphere. Not disimilar in some ways to Power Metal, but the lyrics are generally more sophisticated and they make more use of synthesizers. Often have female vocalists or female AND male vocalists.  Symphonic Metal bands are AMAZING live.

Bands of that ilk:

Nightwish, Alpine Fault, Epica, Therion, Rhapsody, Leaves Eyes.

Looking at Wiki, it appears that Symphonic and Power are VERY similar and many of the bands that I have rated as one, they have rated as the other. I believe trying to pigeonhole bands is probably a fool's game. But kinda a fun one. I'll just label things as both, okay?

~ * ~

Thrash Metal - characterized by heavy percussive beats and fast, hard riffs. Aggressive, churning music - often with intelligent and political lyrics.

Bands of that ilk:

Metallica, Megadeth, (early) Anthrax.

~ * ~

Speed Metal - heavy, fast and technically demanding metal - often with fairly complex guitar rifts and of a higher, faster pace than Thrash (above). Not usually as aggressive and can, in fact, be rather positive. European stuff tends to be "happier" than American, which still remains quite aggressive. Vocals generally higher pitched - sometimes screaming, shrieking or (my favourite) operatic. Later evolved into power and symphonic metal.

Bands of that ilk:

Paradox, (early) Rage, Running Wild. (oops, these are all German bands, heh), Toxik.

~ * ~ 

Polish Funk Metal - This genre never seems to feature on the more formal Metal Genealogy charts. Why, you might even think I just made it up! But, since I own a couple of CDs that cannot possibly be labelled as anything but PKM, here we go! This is a kinda funky  metal, undertaken by Polish bands with relatively broken english and off-beat attitures. A few years ago I got chatting to a Heavy Metal fan from Poland who was delighted that I actually knew something of the bands from his actual country. There are two other Polish metal bands that I know of - Turbo and Dragon, but neither of them are particularly funky.

Bands of that ilk:

Wolfspider, Acid Drinkers.

Okay, so mostly they're considered to be thrash bands. Spoil my fun *pouts*

But it's thrash with funk!

Okay, too tired to continue this for now - but stay tuned cos I will make updates as I add more genres in to my labels.

* But let us not speak of the "Manowar Incident"