Flotsam and Jetsam - Cuatro (1992)

Hailing from the desert state of Arizona, F&J began in 1982 as Paradox (not to be confused by the German band with the same name) with Jason Newstead as their bassist until 1986, until he left to join Metallica. They rose as part of the American Thrash Metal explosion in the late 80s/early 90s but never received quite as much notoriety as many of their counterparts. Despite this, they are still active today and have retained the same vocalist throughout.

This is their fourth album, as you may have guessed from the name. The cover seems to have been designed by a similar graphic designer to the Watchtower album, having a somewhat pixellated helicopter image beneath a bold band title and name. However, it folds out into a poster with a larger image and the band photos down the side, lyrics on the back.

The album kicks off with "Natural Enemies" - pounding rhythms, aggressive vocals, surprisingly smooth chorus. Eric A.K.'s voice is rough and raw, tending on the slightly higher side but not screechy or shrill. Just angry. Pace is rapid for the verses. Slower for the chorus. Drums pound and guitars churn with shrill confidence.

"Swatting at Flies" begins as a slower number, with darting guitar licks to open. The pace slows, chugging and churning before the vocals erupt, Lyrics filled with pent-up aggression:

"The only thing I ever made in life was a fist..."

American metal is so confrontational! The vocals have a good rhythm to them, punctuated with solid drum beats.

"The Message" is slower but heavy, ominous rifts and some intricate guitar passages.Short and to the point - "have you got the message?"

"Cradle Me Now" thrums with tension, as though it is being restrained and trying to break free. It chugs and churns and thrashs.

The pace drops another notch and we begin "Wading Through the Darkness" which is a borderline ballad. The vocals now have a twisted whine to them, although they still radiate aggression and frustration.

Chugging and churning we step into "Double Zero". Vocals are surprisngly slow and almost melodic, but still with the harsh edge and tending more towards spoken than sung. There is something quintessentially American about the lyrics (which are also about war in the Middle East, of course this was released shortly after the Gulf War):

"Home's where the guns are..."

We pick up the pace in "Never to Reveal" in which the drum pounds and the bass line chugs. Vocals are tongue-trippingly fast - which is reflected in the lyrics:

"...hope my tongue don't slip..."

"Forget About  Heaven" brings us back into the heavy rhythms; slower, aggressive. Kinda highly strung. Nice guitar solo.

We mellow out a bit for "Secret Square". Low, quite strong and rich vocals, light guitar accompaniment. Speeds up, slows down, falls into weird distortiony bits.

We race and pound into the almost-speed metal "Hypodermic Midnight Snack". Despite the not-so-pleasant theme, this is my favourite song on this album. It races through the verses, soars into the surprisingly harmonic chorus and then surges forth once more. Erratic, dramatic.

There's a bit of a glam metal vibe to "Are You Willing?", compelete with a bit of a squeal to the vocals. Otehrwise, he's tripping over his tongue again as he races through the verses.

The final track, "(Ain't Nothing Gonna) Save this World" offers nothing new to the world of music and is frankly, rather dull and uninspired thrash metal.

I've been listening through this album for the last four days. I think it's time to put it to rest and return it to the shelf.


Flotsam and Jetsam are not a bad band, they're just not very inspiring. Their music is modestly competent and well structured, as far as thrash metal goes, they're pretty good - despite their relative obscurity (and many steps down from Metallica). However, I prefer my music a little more quirky and dynamic and thus I shall rate them 5/10.

Acid Drinkers - Strip Tease (1992)

Keeping with the Polish bands, we now have Acid Drinkers. AD are the only band with a similar sound to Wolfspider - they even share a lead guitarist - Popcorn (Dariusz Popowicz?). They are like the mischevious younger brother, full of untamed energy and rebellion, and with  a somewhat crude sense of humour.

The cover is... well I can imagine Americans might find it rather offensive. You see, it depicts the statue of liberty, with helicopters lifting the skirt to reveal rather muscular legs and rather detailed stone phallus. There's a dented coke can in the foreground and three balls in the lamp. 

"Strip Tease" is crazy, chaotic and frantic with the guitarists charging together for the finish line, occasionalyl jumping over one another in their quest for audio dominance. The lyrics are equally frenzied, it's a wonder vocalist Titus doesn't trip over his tongue. You can't understand what he's saying -  the "delightful"* broken English is only apparent when you read the lyric sheet, ie:

"Dear blockhead, dear lovely muthaf**ker, I present you a panorama of my crotch.Are you indignant?"

And I've discovered a new word too - psychical! It means: Of, relating to, affecting, or influenced by the human mind or psyche; mental.

And here I thought they were making it up.

Laughing rhythms and a cough herald "King King Bless You!" Vocals are slower, funkier, and have a kind of cartoon feel. Admittedly that cartoon would have to be South Park. Actually, this really does sound like South Park. If South Park performed Thrash Metal. Titus even sounds a little like Cartman, with the squawk to his voice.

Surprisingly good guitars, and what is this? A Metallic cover! An ACOUSTIC Metallica cover by one of the craziest thrash metal bands ever to come out of Eastern Europe. It's "Seek and Destroy" and has an almost eastern vibe going for it. It's actually really very good. I believe there's a guest vocalist on here, adding a shrill, thin, feminine voice to the chorus. This is the kind of cover song I like - sounding little like the original.

I'm not sure how to describe the intro to "Rock N Roll Beast". It sounds a little like a grown-up pretending to be a toddler that's possessed by a demon. The music is chaotic and frantic, the rhythms a swift and tangled complication. The chorus is fast and funky.

"Rats/Feeling Nasty" has Titus switching from his squawk and into a lower register (at least at first). The guitarist/s seem to be sliding up their guitar. Then it switches to classical, and falls into something akin to funk metal. It's all over the place, but crazy fun.

However, "Poplin Twist" is surprisingly sophisticated. It's slower, with steadier rhythms, some very trebbly percussion lines and vocals of a lower and less cartoon-chicken-like. Some nice harmonising on the choruses. Lyrics are rather nonsensical, but oddly amusing:

"I leave the shadow of my shapely ass for those sick prophets, leave them alone."

 "Masterhoods of Hearts Devouring" starts with a roaring, raucous, rampage; before suddenly switching to piano and melodious guitar rhythms. Just ever so slightly off key, and with the drummer being slightly off time. Then BAM the vocals storm the song, so fast and reckless that it's completely indecipherable.

"You Are Lost My Dear" has stronger metal and funk fusion rhythms.

Back into something weird, "Menel Song" is acoustic and mostly vocal, with only light drums and guitar for accompaniment, along with weird blasting noises. Titus still sounds like a dangerous cartoon bird. Combined, interwoven with the verses is a chorus of  "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life".Which says a lot about where their humour is coming from.

Some rather technical structures, guitars that sound faintly sci-fi, and chug-chug-chug rhythms display that fact that these are competent musicians (despite some evidence to the contrary). "Blood is Boiling" feels more like a traditional thrash song.

"My Caddish Promise" starts with slamming, thrashing instruments and zappy laser noises. Most bands do love songs, AD do a hate song. With really weird lyrics.

"I require it, my sweet sexual straggeler cremate yourself for me."

It's hard to describe the vocals, some words seem to have bits clipped off them, adding an odd accentuation to the lyrics. I think there are two vocalists doing this track, because Titus's squawk is also in there.

"I will hate you tomorrow, just like I hate you today. It is my caddish promise."

Another competent and technical opening to "Mentally Deficient". Vocals hurried and raucous. Slowing, speeding. Twangy guitar rhythms. Slamming drums. Guitar races.


"Hell it is a Place on Earth" is another fast, thrashy, number with an element of melody buried somewhere in there.

Creeping, creeping, we have "Ronnie and the Brother Spider". Seems to be about how Ronnie has died, at the edge of town. Vocals are somewhat funky. Full of explectives.

"I'm a Rocker" is another chaotic and crazy piece, with little to recommend it.


Acid Drinkers are crazy. Quirky. Fun. Titus's voice gets on your nerve after a while: he sounds a little like a caricature. The rhythms are all over the place, racing each other, slowing, jerking back and forth and sometimes out of time (but it seems to be on purpose). The humour is somewhat offensive, and the entire album is peppered with swear words, but it has a playful appeal - for those who like that sort of thing. For those that don't, this album would suck. It's very trebly, with some complex musical arrangements and the guitarists show technical prowess, even if they're indecisive about where to go. They're either insane or geniuses, but they're definitely different.

Rating = 6.5/10

* Where's your punctuation for sarcasm when you need it?

Wolfspider - Kingdom of Paranoia (1990)

My first introduction to Wolfspider, and Polish metal in general, was the Speed Kills 5 album which contained no less than four Polish bands: Turbo, Dragon, Acid Drinkers and Wolfspider. Oddly enough, in the wikipedia page both Dragon and Wolfspider appear to have been forgotten about. Admittedly, Dragon are more death metal (and thus might not appear on a thrash band lsit), but Wolfspider are definitely thrash. Anyhow, I heard the song "Black n Whites", really liked it, found this on cassette tape and bought it. Found another copy or two a while later in the bargain bins for $2, so I bought them too as ways of introducing my overseas friends to them. Then I finally acquired it on cd when it was re-issued and - after years of trying - also managed to get their follow up album "Drifting on a Sullen Sea". So yeh, I like Wolfspider and Acid Drinkers are quite amusing, but the rest of the Polish Thrash scene I can take or leave* - and would prefer to leave, dziękuję.

The cover is moody and strange. The ocean, reflecting the full moon above as a quater moon. A man in (ugly checkered) suit and tie atop a throne from which unrolls a crimson carpet, towards a cage in which three soldiers protest their capture. Between them, a dog with the head of a man grovels at the suited man's feet, his head turned to glare at the soldiers. One cannot help but feel there is some sort of political message here and the lyrics also reflect similar themes of social issuses and political complications, all written in halting broken English. Inside the band all look so young and curly haired.

The album opens with the classically inspired intro to "Manifestants" which is rich and evocative, gutiars interweaving into a fine tapestry that then blasts into rapid drumming and stampeding guitars. Vocalist Jacky shouts for the most part, but he has a silvery iron edge to his voice and falls into erratic, almost funk, rhythms for some of the verses. It's erratic, jerky and surprisingly effective. This is a song of revolution:

"Revolution - we want freedom, we want rights
Revolution - no one will rule us again
People want to rule."

Time for a brief history lesson - Poland were shaking the shackles of Communism 1989-1991 - when this album was written and made.

My favourite Wolfspider song "Pain" is a broken and grieving song, still containing the raw and brutal energy of thrash but containing a deeply emotional, raw side. It is a song of death and loss - a drunk driver steals the life of child and wife, and the husband mourns his loss whilst also raging his anger.  The tempo switches from anger to grief within a few erratic bars making it jarring and real and very affective.

The thrashing "Black n Whites" was the first ever Wolfspider song I ever heard.The vocals are a high and semi-tortured whine. There seems to be a bit of a religious feel to the lyrics, which for the most part do not make a lot of sense:

"Father from the stars, your servants serve you so poor
there are many traitors greedy for dough
father from stars, they don't treat you with respect
it isn't good to follow your footsteps anymore."

The last is sun in an almost melodious manner. His accent shines through in everything he says, and pronounces some words almost phoentically.

"Foxes" is a song about deception. It starts fast and jerky, before smoothing up for a few bars then going chaotic again. Another jerky, erratically tempoed piece.

"Waiting For Sense" has a slight funk rhythm to the vocals, although the instruments are still fast and hard and all over the place. Chorus is, again, surprisingly melodic, as is the rather more traditionally paced guitar solo. At least for the first few bars.

It's time to get funky as we enter the "Desert". The rhythms are mainstreamed now into more traditional funk metal, with the guitars zig-zagging across them and then the drums going wild.

"Sickened Nation" is a crazy and restless song. Jerky, erratic, and with surprisingly polished guitar solo.

The opening guitar chords of "Nasty-ment" are very technical and soon fall into a race with the drums. This is an instrumental, and it is a frantic flurry of instrumentation.

The pace drops back into steadier rhythms for "Survive". Vocals are the high, slightly off-tune whine. The chorus has appeal:

"Look! A bird's flying in the sky so free and so proud
try to bear it like it does, to pass over that."

 Final track, "Weakness" is a bonus not included on my cassette versions. It was a bit of a surprise when I finally heard it (the lyrics were printed on the cassette sleeve, even though the song wasn't on it, so I knew it existed) because it's completely different in tempo and melody, being more reminscient of an old love song, maybe from back in the 60s or something. The lyrics are rather amusing, and seem to be about how girls are his weakness (either that or alcohol). After the opening verse it rapidly declines into the rather frantic, chaotic rhythms we've grown used to, but it slows down for the vocals. It's crazy, fun and quirky. Complete with drunken singing. Just ignore the sexploitative nature to the lyrics.

In small doses, Wolfspider are very cool: with their erratic, jerky rhythms; melodic almost metallic** vocals; crazy lyrics and competent instrumentation. Too much of them, and it starts to wear on you, making you feel sort of edgy and restless. It is hard to relax or concentrate on anything else. Probably due to the pace and chaoticness of the rhythms.

Rating = 6.5/10

* For fun here's some more Polish metal (and it's all pretty thrash and aggressive and not aurally pleasant to me):
Dragon "I Spit in Your Face"
Turbo "Barbaric Justice"

And here's Vader "Never Say My Name" (this is the first time I have heard them)

** I can't think of a better way to describe it - it's a sharp knife-like whine with a softer edge.